The diagnosis is new, fully explained yesterday, so this is still very raw for me. So many questions are running through my head. Why was this not caught earlier? Mum had many doctor visits, over the last year, that all seem to be tied to her cancer. How do we explain this to our children? We knew she has cancer earlier, but she had the tumours removed and was on the road to recovery. After the surgery, my 10 year old Kendal had a melt down sobbing "What if my Nana dies? What if she doesn't get better?" Later that same night, I read a text Marley wrote to a friend, talking about how she was afraid that her Nana would not be at her high school grad or Kendals grade school grad. My Mum has been that grandparent that attends every school show, concert or play that my girls are in. How the hell are we going to tell them that one of their biggest fans is not going to be there to see all of their accomplishments?
The biggest question for me is what will I do without that cute, crazy, naïve, no filter, wacky, best friend of mine? The answer to that remains to be seen. I guess I will just have to wait for that tap on my shoulder where there is no one to be found.
I love you Mum. xoxox
Picture from our trip to Cuba January 2014.
